I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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