nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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