okay pat passed out under dana's car
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize