so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
