They should really pass out barf bags in church
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
