He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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