You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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