I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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