so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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