I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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