it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize