..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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