id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
