i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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