I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
