PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
My pussy is not your playground.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
