We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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