so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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