I just cut my nipple shaving
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Randomize
