But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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