If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
