I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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