Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
