we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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