Your dad touched me again.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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