Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
