I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize