You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
