Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
