alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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