Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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