I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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