using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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