yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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