They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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