Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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