I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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