maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
