Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
