This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
