what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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