every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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