can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
