The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
time to smoke my breakfast
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize