I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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