She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
