I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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