the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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