I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
