We're like a lot better than the average bears
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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