thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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