your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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