is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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