I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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