Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
