I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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