Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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