shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
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