I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize