i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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