So how was he last night?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.