Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Let's paint friendship bongs
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that