I'm really into asian looking animals
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.