I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
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Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
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I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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