Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.

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(720): Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls. http://tfl.nu/micp

Replies (29) Good night (3800) Bad night (1054)
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(807): View more from Ontario

I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.

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(807): I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina. http://tfl.nu/rpnu

Replies (46) Good night (7421) Bad night (1106)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her

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(570): you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her http://tfl.nu/jaz5

Replies (39) Good night (8660) Bad night (1479)
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(903): View more from Texas

Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.

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(903): Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand. http://tfl.nu/dh2g

Replies (13) Good night (2533) Bad night (1417)
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(231): View more from Michigan

We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.

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(231): We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result. http://tfl.nu/ddxt

Replies (2) Good night (2311) Bad night (873)
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(352): View more from Florida

he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled

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(352): he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled http://tfl.nu/6wmo

Replies (2) Good night (1810) Bad night (742)
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(845): View more from New York

Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.

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(845): Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight. http://tfl.nu/mc2w

Replies (2) Good night (2091) Bad night (841)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high

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(610): he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high http://tfl.nu/1b4w

Replies (2) Good night (1622) Bad night (860)
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(309): View more from Illinois

cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.

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(309): cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better. http://tfl.nu/6a1r

Replies (2) Good night (1207) Bad night (884)
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(707): View more from California

is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??

(408): View more from California

your beer goggles are on backwards.

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(707): is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive?? (408): your beer goggles are on backwards. http://tfl.nu/ojnh

Replies (4) Good night (4176) Bad night (762)
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(319): View more from Iowa

I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!

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(319): I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing! http://tfl.nu/3rw3

Replies (3) Good night (1155) Bad night (499)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that

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(870): I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that http://tfl.nu/cuww

Replies (3) Good night (1316) Bad night (464)
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(503): View more from Oregon

The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.

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(503): The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub. http://tfl.nu/iw9s

Replies (3) Good night (938) Bad night (416)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.

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(847): I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low. http://tfl.nu/gpfm

Replies (2) Good night (709) Bad night (931)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".

(908): View more from New Jersey

That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.

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(973): You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch". (908): That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch. http://tfl.nu/oi97

Replies (2) Good night (732) Bad night (344)

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