u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
