You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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