Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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