My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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