i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.