At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
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i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
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posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...