Got a toothbrush?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
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Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
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We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy