it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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