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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Not even the dog will look at me anymore.

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• (310): View more from California

  I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (217): View more from Illinois

  Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.

  (682): View more from Texas

  They're mostly guys

  (817): View more from Texas

  Early bird gets the worm.

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• (916): View more from California

  My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??

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• (716): View more from New York

  Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?

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• (518): View more from New York

  I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.

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