Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels

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  (703): i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels http://tfl.nu/aed7
  Replies (3) Good night (649) Bad night (1332)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.

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  (386): it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally. http://tfl.nu/s601
  Replies (19) Good night (6705) Bad night (1053)
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  (716): View more from New York

  since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?

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  (716): since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night? http://tfl.nu/hysj
  Replies (85) Good night (1749) Bad night (6971)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while

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  (817): well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while http://tfl.nu/ax7b
  Replies (33) Good night (1582) Bad night (4912)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.

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  (402): Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER. http://tfl.nu/3m46
  Replies (23) Good night (2113) Bad night (3662)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old

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  (803): and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old http://tfl.nu/y7b8
  Replies (23) Good night (1779) Bad night (6728)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.

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  (651): She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations. http://tfl.nu/80vt
  Replies (8) Good night (3280) Bad night (703)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.

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  (513): He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ. http://tfl.nu/zyza
  Replies (13) Good night (3268) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.

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  (914): He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will. http://tfl.nu/096i
  Replies (8) Good night (2235) Bad night (575)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.

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  (304): The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke. http://tfl.nu/dnme
  Replies (9) Good night (2053) Bad night (444)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.

  (316): View more from Kansas

  And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming

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  (316): ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid. (316): And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming http://tfl.nu/9ifj
  Replies (2) Good night (855) Bad night (317)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink

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  (717): Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink http://tfl.nu/xefq
  Replies (4) Good night (436) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.

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  (339): You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once. (781): I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian. http://tfl.nu/l29g
  Replies (4) Good night (879) Bad night (186)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.

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  (618): I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night. http://tfl.nu/847z
  Replies (0) Good night (419) Bad night (219)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.

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  (408): I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment. http://tfl.nu/3pv3
  Replies (1) Good night (254) Bad night (219)

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