Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(417): View more from Missouri

Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.

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(417): Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls. http://tfl.nu/0cx7

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.

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(215): I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons. (267): I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner. http://tfl.nu/vxtv

Replies (12) Good night (1017) Bad night (4510)
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(+27): View more from South Africa

I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.

(+27): View more from South Africa

I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.

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(+27): I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake. (+27): I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better. http://tfl.nu/rfir

Replies (39) Good night (4073) Bad night (1460)
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(440): View more from Ohio

we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.

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(440): we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now. http://tfl.nu/0eqq

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...

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(715): she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over... http://tfl.nu/jqzz

Replies (17) Good night (4598) Bad night (917) Order T-Shirt
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(727): View more from Florida

I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.

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(727): I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights. http://tfl.nu/lg7e

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(+07): View more from

tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?

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(+07): tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance? http://tfl.nu/7v50

Replies (34) Good night (5207) Bad night (830) Order T-Shirt
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(440): View more from Ohio

Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.

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(440): Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true. http://tfl.nu/r2p3

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(916): View more from California

I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting

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(916): I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting http://tfl.nu/umsk

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(845): View more from New York

We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?

(1-845): View more from New York

Who won mens moguls?

(845): View more from New York

That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.

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(845): We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously? (1-845): Who won mens moguls? (845): That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude. http://tfl.nu/8mik

Replies (63) Good night (6544) Bad night (2061)
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(765): View more from Indiana

On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.

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(765): On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life. http://tfl.nu/r8q3

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(567): View more from Ohio

For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.

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(567): For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts. http://tfl.nu/swyw

Replies (10) Good night (1886) Bad night (716) Order T-Shirt
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.

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(505): I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am. http://tfl.nu/o50r

Replies (25) Good night (3412) Bad night (558)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?

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(202): Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina? http://tfl.nu/ofgw

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(931): View more from Tennessee

I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children

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(931): I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children http://tfl.nu/92r8

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