Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
