He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Soap is not a condiment
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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