Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
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