drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
