porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
